Beautiful Liar

He was a beautiful liar,
that’s the plain and simple truth
But, she never saw it . . .

With a numb mind walking on auto-pilot,
She found herself in her bathroom
She glanced into the mirror and shook her head in disappointment

“What were you thinking?” she whispered to herself.

Without thought she shed her clothes
Dropping to the floor with a velocity of disgust
Falling to her feet and the ground she is rooted to

She reaches into the bath and plugs the drain,
She turns on the water
“Make it hot!” she thinks to herself

Her right leg lifting and stepping in
Her toes scorching in the water; awaken her numbed state of mind
A tear slips down her cheek as she drops her ass into the steaming hot water

Flesh turning red from the scorching heat
She smiles as his scent is removed from her body
Her sins washed away and buried in her mind

Lesson learned,
He will tell you he loves you
Just so he can fuck you.

Because . . . He’s a Beautiful Liar

© Paige Turner

Two Sided Story

There is always more than one story when it comes to Man & Woman . . .

(Woman’s Thoughts)

We look at the whole picture
Dissecting all the details
Gathering information
Digging out the dirt

And then we say what we suspect or what’s on our mind…

This could take time,
Even months…
Or,
We might straight up explode the truth
And blindside you on a great day.

(Man’s Thoughts)

Seeing what’s right in front of you
In the moment of right now
Not having to think about it
Willing to lay in dirt

Making himself feel as if he has done no wrong…

He believes in his lies
They become his truth…
Or,
He doesn’t give a fuck if he got caught
He’s moved on without notice

It’s a two sided story . . . and my side says “He cheated!”

© Paige Turner

• Please be kind and truthful to those you say you love.

Self-Rejection

Although I really hate being single
The fear of rejection controls me
I get lost in the thoughts of what if . . .

What if he doesn’t like me?
What if I am not pretty enough?
What if I am not his type?
What if I am not good enough?

I start feeling like I have to pretend to be what I am not.

Pretending to like his likes.
Pretending I look the way I look right now every day.
Pretending we have chemistry.
Pretending I deserve to be with him.

And so,
I cancel our date
There is no need to pretend.

Self-Rejection, keeps me single again.

© Paige Turner

Photo: ©2008-2015 yamilletot

Silent Creeper

Silent Creeper

It comes from no where
Creeping in silently behind closed doors
Lurking in every shadow,
It knows no boundaries . . .

It waits for the moment you let your guard down
For the day you feel; not quite yourself
For the hour your energy is low,
For the second you have doubt

It’s called . . . FEAR

And you just let it in
Let it take up space in your head
Let it alter your perception,
Let it change your mind . . .

Fear . . . It’s a Silent Creeper!

© Paige Turner

Photo Credit: © 2010-2015 wiersz

There Were No Words . . .

Only moans vibrated out of our mouths
Feeling tingly warm breath upon flesh
He stopped to suckle my breast
As his mouth made way below my navel

My head leans back and my fingers slide perfectly between his
He tenderly massages my breast with his other hand
Excitement runs through me
As his mouth enters the sacred

Nourished by my sweet blooming flower
Feeding on our strong sexual desire
You and I become one for the next hour
Fulfilling our sexual need and fucking till we expire . . .

© Paige Turner

Photo Credit: © PhotoAlto/Corbis

Wounded Mind

Sadness,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Self-Rejection,
All feelings that the mind has practiced and remembered thousands of times.

Remember when your little sisters best friend found out she had cancer? She lost all her hair from chemo and wasn’t able to come back to school. For three years she fought the disease, wore wigs and tried to look and act normal, even though she was fighting for her life. How her parents lost their jobs and had to go on welfare to survive because their daughter was always in the hospital. Then one day their daughter told them she was done fighting for her life, and refused medical care. She was 11 when she died. It was so sad.

Remember when Dad was drunk and you took the keys so he couldn’t drive but he was being an asshole and fought to get his keys? You didn’t want to give them to him but he wouldn’t stop, so you told him if he wanted to be stupid that was his choice and you gave him the keys. No child should have to go through that with their parent, but you did. He drove away and ran a stop sign and hit a car head on that had a child in the car. Dad always got away with things . . . luckily no one was injured, and of course he got away with it, and was not charged because of a police investigation error. Angry . . . he gets away with things he shouldn’t, he never learns!

Remember when you were jealous that your best friend had a boyfriend that was cool? You secretly thought he was really hot and did not tell anyone the way you felt. First time her boyfriend was alone with you and talked to you, you flirted with him. You were so jealous of your friend’s relationship that you took advantage and slept with her man behind her back the first chance you got. Jealousy got the best of you and you acted on it.

Remember when you looked in the mirror and no longer recognized yourself? You hated the reflection that was peering back at you that whispered… “You’re not pretty anymore” or “No one wants a single mom with kids.” Slowly but surely you started dissecting yourself and withdrawing from the world. Self-Rejection is a bitch.

Sadness,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Self-Rejection,
All feelings that have been programmed and learned from birth and we continue learning through life.

The way we think,
The way we feel,
The way we act become routines that we fulfill.

A wounded mind is drama filled.

© Paige Turner

Photo By: © 2008-2015 ImNotCreazy

Suggestions

He suggested I wear more vibrant colors
He doesn’t like seeing me in dark colors
He suggested I wear Mascara
He thought my eyes would be prettier
He suggested I wear high heels and a dress
He wants to see me be more womanly
He suggested I wear lipstick
He wants to kiss my pretty lips
He suggested I send him nude pictures
He wants to see my naked body
He suggested I call him more
He wants to hear my voice
He suggested I listen more
He thinks I don’t hear him
He suggested I be his woman
He must be crazy . . .
He suggests I become someone else.

© Paige Turner

Escaping My Prison

Regret fastens to me like a child needing their mother
Over and over I do not understand the decisions I make
I listen to the words “we are adults making grown up choices”
But in that moment, I abandon all sound decisions

Your touch feeds my hungry soul
I can’t help but to let go . . .

Surrendering to become intimately yours
Every part of my body I allow you to explore
I get lost in the world of seduction
For a moment loving you as if there would be more . . .

My sexual frustrations gone out the door
Hunger pains released with an explosion inside
The feelings I feel, I cannot hide
Just for a moment you loved the ride

Back to reality moments later
Realization that he doesn’t love me
All he did was fuck me
Allowing me to escape my prison once more . . .

Regret consumes me, and I shut the door.

© Paige Turner

Photo Credit: © 2012-2015 bittersweetvenom