Image by © simon/Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis
Why won’t you answer me?
Why are my calls and texts UN-returned?
What’s wrong with you?
What happened?
Why won’t you talk to me?
Where did you go?
Why do I care more for you?
… Care more than you’ll ever know.
© Paige Turner
https://paigeturnerthinkingoutloud.wordpress.com
Image by © Pep Karsten/fstop/Corbis
With a numb mind walking on auto-pilot,
She found herself in her bathroom
She glanced into the mirror and shook her head in disappointment
“What were you thinking?” she whispered to herself.
Without thought she shed her clothes
Dropping to the floor with a velocity of disgust
Falling to her feet and the ground she is rooted to
She reaches into the bath and plugs the drain,
She turns on the water
“Make it hot!” she thinks to herself
Her right leg lifting and stepping in
Her toes scorching in the water; awaken her numbed state of mind
A tear slips down her cheek as she drops her ass into the steaming hot water
Flesh turning red from the scorching heat
She smiles as his scent is removed from her body
Her sins washed away and buried in her mind
Lesson learned,
He will tell you he loves you
Just so he can fuck you.
Because . . . He’s a Beautiful Liar
© Paige Turner
We are starving
The food ran out yesterday
But it’s not our day to get food
My siblings and I cry out,
Our stomachs grumble in pain,
Nothing but dry cereal, to curve the appetite of the hunger pang
We start buggin . . . “What’s to eat, we’re hungry?”
Mama says “Come on, yall know what day we get food!
Food Stamps ain’t till the 9th.”
My head drops low
That’s two more days
My siblings can’t count, they don’t know how hungry we’ll go
Month after month
The same ole story
Binge eating and hunger, our life, our glory
Cupboards rolling deep in food on the 9th
And bare as hell come the 1st
And straight up empty on the 6th or 7th
Deserts galore
When we come from the store
Steaks, shrimp, and chicken too
Our first meal on the night of the 9th
We live like kings and queens
With no limits too high
But later down the road
Our food is stretched thin
And dinners are gross
Hot dogs and chips,
Top Ramen too,
Nobody wanting to eat that day after day
But hunger,
Will force even bad food into our mouths
To fill the need, to stop the pain
One day I finally got nerve . . .
I asked my Mama why we ate like kings on the 9th
and the poor days later?
She shook her head and said “listen here
I feed ya right, and make your food
Don’t question me, I’m not in the mood.”
Still puzzled I couldn’t help but chime,
But why the 9th
Why do we starve and wait for that date?
Less than pleased, that I dare speak
She snapped “my Mama did it, and her granny too
Don’t worry, you’ll get food stamps too!”
I grew up on the system
And vowed to leave
I broke the circle and learned to survive
Food Stamps . . .
I got to much pride
I can hold my own,
I don’t need a free ride
I eat like a king every day of the week
I pay my way,
I need not receive
© Paige Turner
Photo Credit: Royalty Free Photo at Morguefile.com
There is always more than one story when it comes to Man & Woman . . .
(Woman’s Thoughts)
We look at the whole picture
Dissecting all the details
Gathering information
Digging out the dirt
And then we say what we suspect or what’s on our mind…
This could take time,
Even months…
Or,
We might straight up explode the truth
And blindside you on a great day.
(Man’s Thoughts)
Seeing what’s right in front of you
In the moment of right now
Not having to think about it
Willing to lay in dirt
Making himself feel as if he has done no wrong…
He believes in his lies
They become his truth…
Or,
He doesn’t give a fuck if he got caught
He’s moved on without notice
It’s a two sided story . . . and my side says “He cheated!”
© Paige Turner
• Please be kind and truthful to those you say you love.
What if he doesn’t like me?
What if I am not pretty enough?
What if I am not his type?
What if I am not good enough?
I start feeling like I have to pretend to be what I am not.
Pretending to like his likes.
Pretending I look the way I look right now every day.
Pretending we have chemistry.
Pretending I deserve to be with him.
And so,
I cancel our date
There is no need to pretend.
Self-Rejection, keeps me single again.
© Paige Turner
Photo: ©2008-2015 yamilletot
Silent Creeper
It comes from no where
Creeping in silently behind closed doors
Lurking in every shadow,
It knows no boundaries . . .
It waits for the moment you let your guard down
For the day you feel; not quite yourself
For the hour your energy is low,
For the second you have doubt
It’s called . . . FEAR
And you just let it in
Let it take up space in your head
Let it alter your perception,
Let it change your mind . . .
Fear . . . It’s a Silent Creeper!
© Paige Turner
Photo Credit: © 2010-2015 wiersz
I was the string
Always the solid one
I could be stretched thin
And still stand strong
Yo!
You slid through me
You climbed up me
Slid down me
And played tricks on me
Until I wasn’t sleeping anymore
© Paige Turner
My head leans back and my fingers slide perfectly between his
He tenderly massages my breast with his other hand
Excitement runs through me
As his mouth enters the sacred
Nourished by my sweet blooming flower
Feeding on our strong sexual desire
You and I become one for the next hour
Fulfilling our sexual need and fucking till we expire . . .
© Paige Turner
Photo Credit: © PhotoAlto/Corbis
Sadness,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Self-Rejection,
All feelings that the mind has practiced and remembered thousands of times.
Remember when your little sisters best friend found out she had cancer? She lost all her hair from chemo and wasn’t able to come back to school. For three years she fought the disease, wore wigs and tried to look and act normal, even though she was fighting for her life. How her parents lost their jobs and had to go on welfare to survive because their daughter was always in the hospital. Then one day their daughter told them she was done fighting for her life, and refused medical care. She was 11 when she died. It was so sad.
Remember when Dad was drunk and you took the keys so he couldn’t drive but he was being an asshole and fought to get his keys? You didn’t want to give them to him but he wouldn’t stop, so you told him if he wanted to be stupid that was his choice and you gave him the keys. No child should have to go through that with their parent, but you did. He drove away and ran a stop sign and hit a car head on that had a child in the car. Dad always got away with things . . . luckily no one was injured, and of course he got away with it, and was not charged because of a police investigation error. Angry . . . he gets away with things he shouldn’t, he never learns!
Remember when you were jealous that your best friend had a boyfriend that was cool? You secretly thought he was really hot and did not tell anyone the way you felt. First time her boyfriend was alone with you and talked to you, you flirted with him. You were so jealous of your friend’s relationship that you took advantage and slept with her man behind her back the first chance you got. Jealousy got the best of you and you acted on it.
Remember when you looked in the mirror and no longer recognized yourself? You hated the reflection that was peering back at you that whispered… “You’re not pretty anymore” or “No one wants a single mom with kids.” Slowly but surely you started dissecting yourself and withdrawing from the world. Self-Rejection is a bitch.
Sadness,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Self-Rejection,
All feelings that have been programmed and learned from birth and we continue learning through life.
The way we think,
The way we feel,
The way we act become routines that we fulfill.
A wounded mind is drama filled.
© Paige Turner
Photo By: © 2008-2015 ImNotCreazy
 | Poetic Thoughts By P… on Self-Rejection |
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| Poetic Thoughts By P… on Silent Creeper |
 | KM on Silent Creeper |
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Are you new to the writing world or just a seasoned writer looking for inspiration? Do you want to have your poem featured to get your name out there? Maybe you love to read poetry and are looking for some fresh authors to try out. Then join the Creative Talents Unleashed family, and find all […]
Are you new to the writing world or just a seasoned writer looking for inspiration? Do you want to have your poem featured to get your name out there? Maybe you love to read poetry and are looking for some fresh authors to try out. Then join the Creative Talents Unleashed family, and find all […]
Are you new to the writing world or just a seasoned writer looking for inspiration? Do you want to have your poem featured to get your name out there? Maybe you love to read poetry and are looking for some fresh authors to try out. Then join the Creative Talents Unleashed family, and find all […]
Are you new to the writing world or just a seasoned writer looking for inspiration? Do you want to have your poem featured to get your name out there? Maybe you love to read poetry and are looking for some fresh authors to try out. Then join the Creative Talents Unleashed family, and find all […]
Paige Turner Thinking Out Loud 